Tag Archives: love

Who We Are

seagulls sitting in a line on a curved roof

It’s been a long and strange road since the war erupted in the middle east and we got a new president here in the US. There’s no point in commenting on the bonanza of international unrest and political commentary. There really isn’t.

I have found myself listening to both sides, listening to the middle, and trying to reconcile what I hear in public discourse with what I’m experiencing first hand talking to people. Sometimes it fits and sometimes it doesn’t.

Overwhelmingly my sense is that people want to see themselves in the people around them. They want to believe that they are accepted, and that the people around them have similar beliefs. Even if there’s no evidence of this being true, it’s an assumption I see people making as they interact with strangers and acquaintances.

And it’s good. It allows for a kind of civility between people that we don’t see in public discourse. And thank god.

I’ve come to Tampa to be with my daughter Inga through a medical procedure. She and her roommates have an apartment with a balcony. In the morning I’ve been enjoying my coffee on the balcony with the seagulls in the photo above for company… witnessing a continual flow of people and their dogs at the dog park below, people going to work, families coming and going, heron fishing in the pond, palmettos swaying in the wind — enjoying a view on this little community starting its day.

red leaves emerging from a tropical potted plant
Inga and Bella’s balcony plant

Realizing that everyone is venturing out with their unique reality and experience in their bodies has made just sitting here watching an adventure. Whatever challenges or beliefs, whatever physical circumstances they have, there’s a beauty in the sameness of everyone – even the heron – navigating life. I equate this with working with plants and learning about their medicine. They are endlessly giving of healing support, endlessly patient, individuals themselves, and they interact with each person as an individual. Mutual respect and recognition are the only real rules.

So whoever you side with, if you take a side at all in any of the many disagreements we have, we’re all in this together. It’d be nice if we led with that.

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Time Passes, Where There’s War and Where There Isn’t

With so much bad news all around us, especially in Gaza, before that Ukraine, and in the middle east for so long, it’s been challenging to focus on simple things, like a garden. To the point of it feeling irrelevant and even silly to focus on such an ordinary small thing. I’ve felt guilt at not making this horrible news more central in my life. And yet, I’m not there, there is little any of us can do beyond pray, sympathize, donate, commiserate. And this beautiful planet, devastated by the blasts just as her children (us humans, animals, plants- everything) are – suffers, too. So I do the things I can do, honor the life that arises here, and try not to let anxiety prevail.

So a story about time passing here.

My 19 year old daughter Inga got a summer job at a local med spa working the front desk. She started applying for summer jobs in April, interviewed remotely, and was offered this job before her final exams started. She was thrilled. She’d worked with the software they use and had done exactly this job last summer. She was especially happy because she wants to work as an injector when she finishes school, all goodness spring from beauty as it does 😉 and so a med spa would be good experience for her.

The night before her first day of work, which was scheduled for last week, she received an email from the med spa owner saying she’d given the position to someone else who can work year-round and that Inga didn’t “need to visit.” Inga hadn’t been aware they were (still) looking for someone for the job, or that they wanted a year round person. She was crushed.

I told her (in a more confident tone than I felt) that it was early enough in the season that she would find something else, and that she was better off. Who would want to work for someone that would behave that way, anyway? She saw the reason in my words and went back to job hunting. This went on for weeks and she had very few call backs and started to feel “helpless.” Most kids had secured summer jobs in April.

Then there was an offer to interview as … a jet ski guide. I laughed. Perfect for Inga who is spirited, athletic, and adventurous, and who has vowed in past summers to someday own a jetski because she thinks they are great fun. Yesterday she was offered the job with tips into the hundreds of dollars on the busiest (long) days… a small example of how sometimes things don’t go the way we hope, want, and expect them to, but somehow they work out.

Inga last summer

And, returning to the garden.

I’ve been wandering out to my herb garden every day to see if I could spot a sign of my echinacea angustifolia. Echinacea A. is the variety of echinacea most prized for it’s infection fighting power. I’ve read it’s a little harder to cultivate than purpurea, which, admittedly, is usually pretty easy going. But there hasn’t been a sign of it germinating and I was beginning to think it won’t happen this year…

Until today!

small green leaves emerging from dirt
tiny echinacea angustifolia seedling leaves poke up through the dirt

I hope and pray every day for things to come right, for healing, for the right outcomes, for people and planet to find balance, acceptance, equanimity, and well-being. May we all have a hand in creating peace and presence where and when we can, remembering to be. Not to be this or that. But just to be.

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Easy Aloe Vera Gel

aloe vera plant in a south window

Aloe is popular. You can buy it in most garden shops, I’ve even seen it for sale at the grocery store! It’s beautiful, easy to grow, and it’s medicine! Most folks know it’s great pain relief for a sunburn, and promotes rapid healing and tissue repair. It also has the same pH as our skin, and is a natural sunscreen.

You can make aloe vera gel at home very easily:

  • cut a firm leaf from your plant
  • slice it open (on a plate is best).
  • Use a tablespoon to scoop out the gel.
  • optionally, but this is really much nicer, puree it in a blender.
  • you can store it for a few weeks.

et voila! Ready for the sun!

aloe vera flower

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Spring is in the Air, and Making an Early Appearance in the Garden!

iIt’s finally spring!

Here in the Northeast winters usually feel endless to me. This year I started early. The Cape is a little warmer owing to being on the seashore, and I have some early start herbs I’m putting in. WOOOO!

Cape cod soil is pretty much what you’d expect … sand and clay. And lots of it. So we trucked in some planting soil and started clearing away vines and debris in a sunny spot to the west of the house.

It doesn’t look like much right now but it will be full of flowering herbs this summer! And we’ve found a local fence company to put in a garden fence for us – it’ll have to be dug into the ground to protect my precious gardens from rabbits and woodchucks. Two stories come to mind whenever I think about rabbits and woodchucks decimating my garden: Peter Rabbit and Caddyshack. You wouldn’t expect those two to go together, would you??

slate stakes identify what's planted
early herbs include chamomile, echinacea angustifolia, comfrey

And importantly, our friends the garlic shoots have made an appearance:

small green blades of garlic emerging from a bed of leaves
garlic emerging from a bed of leaves

Is this garlic shoot seriously not the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen?

green shoots and leaves with red stems emerge from little planters
chard and onions starting to grow in a seed starter mat.

Finally, the onions and kale I started early are coming along. I added a few leek seeds in later, to the right, and I’m waiting for those to germinate. Later this month it’ll be lettuce, broccoli and cauliflower.

I am dreaming of spring flowers and greens, and beach walks. Soon!

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Mixing and Matching for Happier Gardens – and Gardeners!

Sometimes we have to share. When you plan to share, that’s okay. It’s a little tougher to handle sharing when you aren’t expecting to, though. For instance, when I buy an ice cream cone I’m not thinking I’ll have to share it. It’s pretty great to have a whole ice cream cone all for yourself, it’s less great if you have to share it. The same thing is true for some garden goodies. I know the birds will share my raspberries. I expect it so I let the raspberries get a little bushier in order to have enough for the humans and the birds.

A different case is cabbage. One year I planted cabbage (my first and only attempt to date), which grew into beautiful gorgeous light green cabbage heads. When I picked them and cut into them they had already been claimed by some sort of cabbage worm. Such a drag, I was so excited to harvest my very own cabbage and NOT excited to share.

cabbage with some worm holes visible
cabbage that the worms got to before I did

Writing about it reminds me of a lady I know that planted a beautiful set of raised beds in her backyard one year. She had 6 tall beds and many beautiful ornamental gardens all around her home. They were so impressive and beautifully tended that she opened them for a garden tour one year. On the night before the tour a family of groundhogs found her vegetable garden and absolutely razed every single plant in her boxes down to their nubbins. Completely down to the dirt.

When we garden tourists arrived to her home the next day we were all confused – why did she have all of those empty boxes in her backyard? Oh, well, we said. The rest of the gardens were glorious! …

Well, yeah. Groundhogs like tomatoes, too, it turns out.

I am not sure whether we have groundhogs here… I’ll find out this year I’m sure. In the meantime, though, I’ll be planning my tomato patch with basil to repel flies and hornworms. Rosemary with carrots and green beans to repel root flies and bean beetles, and thyme near my peppers to repel spider mites and white flies… in years past I’ve put some herbs into the vegetable garden but mostly I had an herb garden near the kitchen and veggies out back on a bigger site. I’m changing that now. The kitchen garden will have herbs, flowers and vegetables mixed in together. 

yellow pear tomatoes, green beans, peppers in a bowl
yellow pear tomatoes, green beans and peppers from the garden

Tomatoes with basil and marigolds, broccoli with beets and chamomile, radishes with spinach, lettuce, calendula, and beans, cauliflower with garlic, onions and chives … I’m getting hungry just thinking about it!

radishes and lettuc etogether
radishes and lettuce grow well together

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On Cholesterol, or No One Really Likes Statins Do They?

Over the years it seems like I’ve heard about cholesterol continually. My first husband was always avoiding eggs and butter because cholesterol ran in his family, and my current husband Jon is locked in mortal battle with the matter of whether to take statins, which give him muscle weakness.

Historically I’ve avoided medical literature because … well, it’s pretty dry. Recently, though, I sat down and read about cholesterol because I want to help Jon deal with it. I’m an herbalist and feel confident that if I help him modify his diet and supplement with supportive herbs and relevant lifestyle changes we can ward off his doctor’s requests that he take statins. The proof will be in the pudding of his next cholesterol screening, but in the meantime we’re on this train. 

So, here’s what I learned about cholesterol, which turns out to have an actual purpose in our bodies:

“Stress, toxins, alcohol, and many other substances create free radicals in the body by catabolizing (breaking down) oxygen molecules into reactive oxygen species, which are single atoms of oxygen that have extra “unpaired” electrons.  These “excited” electrons cleave onto other electrons in body tissues and walls of arteries, creating micro-wounds.  This is the same process that causes metal to rust – aka oxidation…

… In order to repair damaged tissue, hormones signal the liver to release cholesterol, which is a life-saving endogenous antioxidant.  Cholesterol repairs the wound. But when this type of oxidation is continual, day in and day out, the excessive wounding creates an immune response, which generates more tissue irritability and more cholesterol, and that builds up into plaque…

Paradoxically, “… the discovery of cholesterol plaque build up in arteries led to a misconception that high cholesterol is a cause of heart disease.  In fact, one cause of heart disease is the inflammation that triggers the release of cholesterol…”  (Maier, from Energetic Herbalism)

So, cholesterol serves a function in the body – it tries to protect the heart. And, heat and inflammation are healed by cholesterol.  We are treating elevated cholesterol levels with statins, but we aren’t treating heat and inflammation with them. So we’re treating a symptom, not the cause of the problem.

… And statins can cause liver damage and the breakdown of muscle tissue.  Maier says it is important to check liver function every 3-6 months when taking statins.  I’ll ask if liver function tests have come up during Jon’s odyssey with statins – he hasn’t mentioned it.

So what are the recommendations for lowering cholesterol production/reduction of inflammation and heat of oxidation?

  • Lower Sugar Intake – sugar causes cell to make its own cholesterol, which isn’t taken up and contributes to ldl levels.   (it’s such a bummer about sugar. it’s so tasty)
  • Consume antioxidants: red, blue, and purple berries, including aronia berries, blueberries, pomegranates, elderberries, and dark green vegetables
  • Sedative sour herbs: sumac (Rhus spp) and hibiscus help clear inflammation, also Roselle (H. Sabdariffa) has antioxidant effects, esp related to cholesterol.
  • 1 clove of garlic daily 
  • 25 g of oatbran on breakfast cereal
  • 1-2 tsp of oolong (especially Pu erh tea/day  (from Ody, Complete Medicinal Herbal)
  • Oyster mushrooms seem to have a cholesterol-lowering affect: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1756464610000630)

Some other interesting things to know about cholesterol and how it functions in your body:

  • Production of sex hormones, adrenal hormones including cortisol, corticosterone, and aldosterone
  • Production of bile
  • Necessary for production of vitamin D in the body
  • Important for the metabolism of fat-soluble vitamins
  • Insulating material for nerve fibers
  • Regulation of serotonin
  • Maintenance of cell membrane permeability
  • Essential role in preservation of memory

And about Red yeast rice extract - it is made from fermentation of rice with Monascus purpureus yeast.  This is the substance statin drugs have been produced from and is as effective as statins but takes longer (~6 months) to have an effect on cholesterol levels and must be taken with CoQ10.  CoQ10 is a hormone (called ubiquonone) which is found in every cell of the body and is stored in the mitochondria (organelles that power our cells). It also acts as an antioxidant.  Statins cause so much damage because they severely diminish natural production of CoQ10.  Red yeast rice does, too, but at a much lower rate. 

It’s important to know that red yeast rices is a symptomatic treatment in that is lowers cholesterol levels but is does not treat inflammation, which is the cause of the elevated cholesterol production.  (above from Maier, Energetic Herbalism)

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Equinox Unfolding

Miniature Daffodils emerging - March

A friend of mine used to say “spring always comes.” That sentence is loaded with meaning, of course, and the comfort that comes with that simple statement goes deep and far.

Happily Roger was proven right again this year and spring dawns in the northeast as usual — as usual…

snowbells

Just that phrase. Since 2020 nothing has felt “usual” – but spring has come, *as usual*, thank the gods. Snowdrops have come and gone, crocus and daffodils are up, tree buds are visible and I’m thinking about summer porch furniture. As usual.

Some other usual things … the mailboxes of our hometown after a winter of (not much) snow plowing:

Mailbox plowed to the ground. The rest of the post is still buried.

Year after year we marvel at the ingenuity of people’s solutions to this perennial problem. People are very creative!

broken duck-taped mailbox
Hellebore

Yes, the comfort of the usual, maybe not entirely predictable things. Welcome, spring.

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Versatile and Beautiful Lavender

Summer Lavender Grosso

Above, a hedge of lavender next to my driveway popped into glorious fragrant bloom in June. I don’t know who was more excited – me or the bumble bees.

I can never bring myself to cut the flowers while they are in full bloom – the sun on the flowers is too glorious. But when they’ve passed their prime they still cut beautifully and are wonderfully fragrant.

Cut lavender fills the kitchen with fragrance

When my son’s girlfriend saw my giant pile of cut lavender she immediately thought of lavender lemonade, and took a handful to make lavender syrup. It was delicious.

Easy to grow and easily available, lavender will grace your garden, attract pollinators, and is truly a sensory joy. Lavender is drought tolerant, does well in zones 6-10.

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May in New England is Heaven

Lilacs nodding in the sun

Many would say that the months between and including December and April are too damn cold in New England. On most days I am among those people, saying to anyone who will listen that New England is no place to age.

But then May comes.

Along with the trees bursting to life in bright spring green, pink, white, red and yellow, the lilacs appear. For a couple of weeks the air is fragrant with them. Lilly of the valley perfume the air at night, a sweet, haunting, beautiful scent. And (where applicable) strawberry flowers open delicate white petals to the new sun.

Strawberry flowers

And the forget-me-nots, chives with their globes of purple flowers, bleeding hearts– all of this after the famous bulbs. It’s like having a baby – you forget the pain of childbirth when you hold a baby in your arms. A similar thing happens here in May. The discomfort of winter fades and softens, replaced by wonder, joy and pleasure. Also lettuce, snap peas, radishes and rhubarb. 🙂

forget-me-nots

As I write this I’m sitting on the porch listening to crickets. The last of the day’s light illuminates the sky in periwinkle-gray, the trees make dark silhouettes and the last intrepid birds are still singing — calling home family members that have stayed out too long, perhaps. A flash of pink lightening in the sky.

Pretty heavenly.

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Tucker

When the kids were small we learned our son had allergies to pretty much everything – except, miraculously, to dogs.  

So we decided to adopt a dog from a shelter, and began searching.  We found it harder to find what we were looking for – a puppy – than we imagined we would but eventually we zeroed in on a litter of roley poley looking spotted dogs sheltered in upstate new york.  The family piled into the car and we drove there to see them.  The kids, of course, were expecting to return with a new family member and truth be told, so were we. 

We arrived and met the woman we’d spoken with via email.  After greetings and a exchanging remarks on a few process details, we went into the kennel.  The puppies were sweet and the kids were enchanted.  Meanwhile, I noticed another dog – leggier than the puppies, huddled in a corner a few feet away.  His fur was black, entirely black, and he was somewhere between puppy-hood and young-adulthood.  I went over to look at him.  Seeing me, he scrambled out the trap door that lead outside to where he could relieve himself.  

I asked Jen, our host, about the dog.  “That’s Jackie.  He’s not up for adoption.”  

“Why?” I asked.  

“He’s anti-social.  He has worms, and we’ve been taking him home with us to see if we can rehab him but I think we’ll probably put him down.”  

My heart sank.  

“Can we meet him?”  

She hesitated.  “I guess there’s no harm.”  She opened up his kennel and we walked out to his outdoor area, the kids trailing.  Jackie was curled up in a corner, eyeing us warily.   

“This is what I mean.  He’s always like this.”   

Jackie was thin, and his coat was rough looking.  “How old is he?” I asked.   

“Three months,” said Jen.   

I felt terrible for him.  I walked toward him slowly, making friendly noises, but he ran to another corner, putting distance between us.   “I think we should take him,” I said, not really thinking about what I was saying.  

My husband looked at me, not surprised, sighed, and said “she’ll decide who comes home with us,” meaning it would be my choice despite being one of four people.  He smiled.  

“It’s okay with me.  He looks like he needs love.”  The kids were disappointed.  They liked the spotted roley poley puppies.  They were friendly and playful.  This dog was decidedly not either of those things.  

Jen seemed unsure about our offer.  After some exchange on how we’d care for him, she agreed to let us take Jackie home.  We loaded him into the crate we’d brought and promised to treat his worms.  The kids made the best of it during the drive home, agreeing that this dog needed a home and the others would surely be adopted.  We talked about names.  And we settled on Tucker.  

Years later, Tucker was our rock.  He’d grown into a beautiful black shephard.  When my husband and I split, Tucker came with me, and my new little house felt a lot more like home.  Everyone loved Tucker.  He was mellow, friendly, and greeted everyone with a wag.  

And then one day when he was out in the yard he bolted into the street, probably chasing a squirrel or rabbit.  And he was hit.   

Tucker didn’t live.  We carried him to the vet and they tried to save him but couldn’t.  We all cried for days.  We talked about planting him under a rose bush but ultimately I didn’t.  I knew we would move to another house one day and I kept his ashes.  Four years later I still have them.  I still think about the nights my children were with their father after we split, Tucker curled up with me for company.  He was the best friend I took a little for granted.  Until he was gone.  And I’ve never been the same.   

We all carry him around in our hearts, especially me.   

We live on a farm, now, with a couple of other rescues.  I’m sure he would have liked this farm, so I am planning to bury him here in my garden with a rose bush over him.   

I want him to rest somewhere beautiful and to go back to the goddess, who gifted him to us, worms and all.    

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