Tag Archives: mental-health

October 5, 2025 · 10:31 am

Who We Are

seagulls sitting in a line on a curved roof

It’s been a long and strange road since the war erupted in the middle east and we got a new president here in the US. There’s no point in commenting on the bonanza of international unrest and political commentary. There really isn’t.

I have found myself listening to both sides, listening to the middle, and trying to reconcile what I hear in public discourse with what I’m experiencing first hand talking to people. Sometimes it fits and sometimes it doesn’t.

Overwhelmingly my sense is that people want to see themselves in the people around them. They want to believe that they are accepted, and that the people around them have similar beliefs. Even if there’s no evidence of this being true, it’s an assumption I see people making as they interact with strangers and acquaintances.

And it’s good. It allows for a kind of civility between people that we don’t see in public discourse. And thank god.

I’ve come to Tampa to be with my daughter Inga through a medical procedure. She and her roommates have an apartment with a balcony. In the morning I’ve been enjoying my coffee on the balcony with the seagulls in the photo above for company… witnessing a continual flow of people and their dogs at the dog park below, people going to work, families coming and going, heron fishing in the pond, palmettos swaying in the wind — enjoying a view on this little community starting its day.

red leaves emerging from a tropical potted plant
Inga and Bella’s balcony plant

Realizing that everyone is venturing out with their unique reality and experience in their bodies has made just sitting here watching an adventure. Whatever challenges or beliefs, whatever physical circumstances they have, there’s a beauty in the sameness of everyone – even the heron – navigating life. I equate this with working with plants and learning about their medicine. They are endlessly giving of healing support, endlessly patient, individuals themselves, and they interact with each person as an individual. Mutual respect and recognition are the only real rules.

So whoever you side with, if you take a side at all in any of the many disagreements we have, we’re all in this together. It’d be nice if we led with that.

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January 22, 2025 · 2:19 pm

There When You Need Them

Recently my husband, who’s an ER doc, agreed to work an extra shift to help a colleague who needed the time off. It was a late night shift at a hospital over two hours from our house, which meant sleeping in the sleep room they reserve for doctors who are wiped out and need to rest. It also happened to be back-to-back with another late night shift, so it promised to be a tiring 48 hours.

Jon doesn’t sleep well at the hospital, though he’s done it many times in this situation. It’s a good idea because a long drive after a ten hour shift is sometimes not safe; that said, in general he gets a rotten night’s sleep because of traffic through or noise outside of the room.

This time I thought to send him with some Valerian tincture and some Passionflower capsules. The Passionflower is relaxing, quiets an overactive mind. Jon doesn’t have that problem but with all the commotion around him I thought it wasn’t a bad idea to have Passionflower on board to ease him back into a restful mental space. More valuable though in this setting was the Valerian. It’s a sedative herb – inducing sleep for most people who take it. I figured the herb would put him to sleep and help him stay asleep.

Every once in a while I’m told Valerian meets a person that it keeps awake – having the opposite effect it usually has. But I’ve never met a person that has had that experience, so I felt reasonably confident sending it with Jon to help him rest.

blue bottle with dropper full of brown liquid tincture

He came home the next day saying “wow! that’s some powerful sh*&#t!” It really helped; he’d been able to sleep, and had a better couple of days for having rested. In fact, he asked for more on a follow-on night when he was feeling wired at bedtime. In the second case I thought maybe a back rub would be better, and he settled for that and fell asleep.

All the same, Valerian has a new friend in Jon.

If you are interested in learning more about Valerian or other herbal remedies you can find me at bespoke-herbals.com. Wishing you a restful winter’s rest.

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December 10, 2024 · 2:10 pm

Great in Bed: Passionflower

That may seem a little provocative but this is a concrete statement I’m prepared to stand behind. I’ve never met a plant that did more for people during the night than Passionflower.

Sure, Valerian helps you sleep… but Passionflower quiets the night-time ruminating, worrying, anxious, and repetitive thoughts that are so common for people. Categorized as sedative, nervine and anti-spasmodic, Passiflora incarnata is a perennial native to the southeastern US, and the flowers and fruits are the medicinal parts of this plant.

People for whom I’ve recommended it say things like “the best night’s sleep I’ve had in as long as I can remember,” and “wow the Passionflower is awesome!” For my part, I can say that when I take passionflower tincture or a capsule before bed I reliably sleep much more soundly than I do without it. My mind is calm. Also, I am prone to grinding my teeth at night and the passionflower eases that noticeably, too.

There’s more to passionflower than its bed-time virtues. Great for over-active and anxious minds it can be taken during the day, too, to help with anxiety. But I think that Passionflower’s super power is it’s ability to calm the mind for sleep.

I’ll leave it there for now, except to note that I’ve seen in some recent literature that Passionflower isn’t recommended for people who take beta-blockers, or for young children. On reviewing this in the American Herbal Products Association’s Botanical Safety Handbook, though, no safety precautions are reported with the exception of some people reporting allergies to Passionflower.

Safe, effective, and sure to support a better night’s sleep – a pretty good bed partner, wouldn’t you agree?

The content presented here is for informational and educational purposes only and does not substitute professional medical advice with healthcare professionals.

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December 1, 2024 · 4:04 pm

Chill Out with Easy Breezy Linden Tea

yellow and white Linden flowers blooming

Last June during a work day at the Herbal Apothecary in Brewster Stephen asked me to help him harvest Linden from the tree that grows out behind the shop. It’s a beautiful, towering tree and to get to the flowers and bracts he raised me up in a tractor bucket with a basket. It was great fun.

Bees love Linden flowers so we had to be careful, but we came away with a giant heap of beautiful fragrant flowers that he made tincture from in the shop.

Right now I’m sitting with a hot cup of fragrant Linden tea, made from the flowers and bracts. I noticed as I was working on some paperwork that a nice warm feeling of mellow calm swept over me, relaxing me. Chilling me out. And yes, that was the effect I was looking for. I love this feeling.

This tea is lovely. I didn’t even add honey, and I have a sweet tooth; I add honey to almost everything.

linden tree leaves and flowers,

A few related notes, just to round off my notes here about Linden.

  • Linden is relaxant and cooling. It gives wonderful support for conditions like high blood pressure, and stress related heart problems.
  • Soothing to the nerves it is helpful where Fibromyalgia or other nerve pain are present.
  • Linden is very safe, even for children and pregnant women.
  • Linden grows large and abundantly in the northeast and in many places, so we are free to harvest as many flowers as we like.

I have tinctured it and enjoyed it as tea. Bur during my Herbalism class (Commonwealthherbs.com) I learned that infusing linden in white wine makes a lovely cooling summer drink. Nice idea, right? They also suggest tincturing it in honey and vodka for a sweet and refreshing tincture/drink.

So much to love about Linden.

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January 20, 2019 · 3:17 pm

Mary has left us – we will miss you

The Uses of Sorrow

(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)

Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.

Mary Oliver

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January 20, 2019 · 3:12 pm

Winter Charms

Winter months are long – days are short, the air freezes your ears and bites your skin till it’s pink and chafed.  Still, it’s beautiful to see a field of snow beyond the glass, or rooftops blanketed in white.  I would miss the site if it didn’t repeat itself year after year, returning like a family member for a mandatory holiday.

And winter invites us to slow down and turn our attention in.  To our interior thoughts, our interior spaces; we are all encouraged to indulge our inner introvert and embrace cozy — this is something the Scandinavians are expert at.   I happen to be Norwegian, so I am a subject matter expert in this area.  🙂

Listening to freezing rain pelt the window from the a couch, blanket wrapped around you, is a giant perk of being human in this day and age, if you are fortunate and resourceful enough to have a warm and cozy home.  It would be a shame to pass up the opportunity of indulging in winter’s delights.

Among them, hot drinks, giant sweaters, snowboarding, knitting, hearty soups, adorable winter hats and … books.

Here, books fill a 10 foot tall bookshelf arranged in a neat row and then bearing stacks layered horizontally along the top of the row to reach the shelf that hangs above.  There are also cabinets filled with books – some behind glass, some behind wooden doors.  Topics vary – Rumi, Shakespeare, Engineering, Emergency Medicine, spell craft, the classics – Hesiod and Theogony, the Iliad, et al., modern witchcraft, Islamic poetry and philosophy, Early Gnostic Christianity, Flaubert, Jungian psychology, history, gardening books, astrology, Arthur Conant Doyle, the Dalai Lama …  and it goes on…

Standing in front of them brings me feelings of comfort, happiness and security.  So many hours of pleasure there in those books just waiting.  All I have to do is select one and settle on a nearby couch, wrap up like a burrito in a throw blanket, crack it open, and settle in.

The weeks between Yule and Imbolg, when the first seeds will stir, is a kind of gestation time, a tide perfectly suited to looking inward to take stock of where you are.  What you can be grateful for, what challenges and adventures you wish to engage when the snow finally melts.

Because it will.  The days are lengthening.  So savor winter – enjoy it in whatever way it speaks to you – while it lasts.

 

 

 

 

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May 16, 2012 · 1:39 am

The Turnip Truck

There sure are a lot of bumps on the road to spiritual enlightenment.  Aside from all the bumps that led me to this road in the first place, that is.  I think I need handlebars.

First of all, I am very bad at keeping a meditation practice.  It’s not because I can’t meditate given the time.  It’s because by the time I’ve come home from work and done my various chores I am ready to sleep.  (Okay, I confess I did pick up a murder mystery that I couldn’t resist this week.)   But generally I am quite earnestly unable to stay awake past 9 pm, which is just about the time I finish settling the kids and house.

So I’m not approaching my desired state of peaceful equanimity at the pace I would like.  Still, I am making progress.  This weekend was a case in point.  I went to see a girlfriend on Saturday night.  We had a splendid little party in her very pretty backyard, making much of her Rose and tapenade.  I drank too much.   That is points away from my goal if I am keeping score, which I am not, exactly, but may be informally doing, even though that is silly and not helpful.  Still, I recovered myself and proceeded to avoid my usual self-depracations after a night of over-indulgence.  That does not really amount to points recovered since I’m supposed to avoid alcohol if I wish to cultivate clarity. All the same, I gave myself a pat on the back for not berating myself for my immaturity for more than a moment or two.

But, in trying move beyond a morning yoga routine and some rather undisciplined efforts at self-awareness to a regular meditation practice I’ve hit a bump.  From here the bump looks like a lack of time and energy resources but something tells me its more to do with my priorities.   So, as I near the end of my current commute-enhancing audio book (David Copperfield which, narrated by Simon Vance is brilliant and I heartily recommend) I’ve picked up Jack Kornfield’s Buddhism for Beginners.  My idea is that compassion and a disciplined state of mind pursued with dogged (if inconsistent) determination will deliver me from my usual unhappy state of crabbiness.

And we will see where this turnip truck takes me.  Even if I get tossed off the back after hitting a pot-hole I’ll have arrived somewhere new, I think.

Meantime, I’m working on another story (children’s, this time) and getting some really swell feedback on The Seventh Sister, which I am very grateful for.  And I will sign off to meditate (at least until I fall asleep).

In peace.

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